The Surprising Importance of Choice

“Having a strong sense of controlling one’s life is a more dependable predictor of positive feelings of well-being than any of the objective conditions of life that we have considered.”

– Angus Campbell

I heard a great story about choice on a recent episode of ​The Morgan Housel Podcast​. As a young child, Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s days were highly structured and dictated by rules. He hated it. Little FDR shared, “Mom, from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, there is a strict structure that I have to follow throughout the entire day.” His mother, Sarah Roosevelt, agreed to give him a day of absolute freedom. He could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Sarah would later write in her diary that FDR woke up that day and resumed his regular schedule. He did it on his terms and quite happily. What?

Psychologists call the aversion to loss of control “​reactance​.” Here’s the full definition: “Reactance is an unpleasant motivational arousal that emerges when people experience a threat to or loss of their free behaviors. It serves as a motivator to restore one’s freedom. The amount of reactance depends on the importance of the threatened freedom and the perceived magnitude of the threat.” This is a big idea. Choice matters.

I’ve enjoyed four amazing coaches over the past 15 years. Without fail, whenever I utter the phrase “I have to ___,” they gently suggest that “I get to ____.” I’ll be honest. Some days, I want to curse and break things when they say this. It makes me feel like 5-year-old FDR. But that little nudge is often all I need to remember that I have a choice. How I think about the work I need to do matters.

As entrepreneurs, we must remember we get to live on our terms. Heck, this is true for our teams and clients, too. Whenever possible, offer choices. Even if we can only select between two relatively difficult tasks, the selection process gives us agency on our journey. Authorship is ownership. Always.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: How can I maintain an authorship mentality in my life?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan

Co-author of The One Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent ​