No-vember – Your Not-To-Do List (3 Min Read)

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“Whenever you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else.” – Ryan Holiday

No-vember – Your Not-To-Do List

After my wife Wendy taught a class on families and business, a business owner shared an impactful story. She had been talking with her husband and said, “I think I have a ‘yes’ problem. I say ‘yes’ to the PTA. I say ‘yes’ to the church. I say ‘yes’ to my clients. I say ‘yes’ to too many things.” He paused for a moment and replied, “Wow. That’s interesting. Because you say ‘no’ to me and the kids every day.” 

Every action has a consequence – intended or unintended. We cannot give our time to one thing or one person without taking that time away from something or someone else. That time is now spoken for. And while we can buy time in the future, there are no refunds for time spent. As important as it is to be thoughtful when we say ‘yes,’  we can be far more aggressive when we say ‘no.’ 

A simple defense is to create a Not-To-Do List. What are the things you can say ‘no’ to without giving them much thought?

Grab a pen and paper. Start a new note on your phone.   Answer the three Not-To-Do questions below.

For the unimportant things we don’t like, we need to give ourselves permission to stop. For the important things we don’t like or want to do, we need to earn the right to delegate. Someone has to do these things, it just doesn’t have to be you. Do you need to increase your income to afford help? Do you need to train existing staff to do it to your standards? 

The third category is probably the most problematic. Most of the stuff we jump straight into is stuff that feels like a priority but isn’t. I feel like this is the trap the woman was in, saying yes to her clients, the PTO, and her church. All of these things are important but not a higher priority than her family. For these, we can delay the decision for a later time. We can discuss with our spouses, partners, and team and debate the merits of saying yes or no. 

 When we stop doing the stuff we needn’t be doing, we can reclaim huge swaths of our schedule. That slack creates space and grace. Space to do more important things. And grace in the form of more time we can invest in the people and things we love.
 
One question to ponder in your thinking time: What belongs on my not-to-do list?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent