Show Me You Know Me

July 19, 2024

“The way that we express love to people through gift-giving is by reflecting who they are back to them, and also by showing them who we see them as.”

– Helen Rosner

Show Me You Know Me

For years, my wife and I have taken morning walks around the lake downtown with our dog, Taco. We usually stop at The Perch for coffee. We’ve done this hundreds of weekends. And for hundreds of weekends I’ve asked her what she’d like to drink. She alternates between a cappuccino and a latte. One is with whole milk and for the other she prefers almond milk. I can never keep them straight. This week I decided that after almost 25 years of marriage, she shouldn’t have to tell me her coffee order ever again.

I texted her, “ What’s your go-to coffee order? I’ve made the decision that this needs to be recorded and I should not have to ask you again.”

“LOL. Hot, whole-milk cappuccino or iced latte with almond milk.”

I opened her contact on my phone and duly noted her preferences. Now I just need to remember to consult my notes next time we’re out for coffee.

Afterward, I proceeded to ask the same question of everyone on my team. Next time I’m at the coffee shop, instead of asking if they want something, I can just surprise them with the caffeinated beverage they prefer.

I’m not sure what incited this. Maybe I was channeling my inner Caroline Huo. At MegaCamp last year, Caroline shared the story of helping an elderly client, Rita, move out of her home of more than 20 years into assisted living. Rita’s husband had recently passed away. When Caroline asked Rita about her favorite part of the home, without hesitation, Rita pointed to the lemon tree in the courtyard. The couple had been given that tree on their wedding day. It reminded Rita of her husband. They were Italian and the tree traveled with them from home to home, all the way from Sicily. As a closing gift, Caroline had a cutting from that tree potted and delivered to the balcony of her new home. Caroline’s service mantra is “Show me you know me.” She aims to deliver thoughtful, memorable service. I’m sure the lemon tree is just one story of many.

In her interview on The Millionaire Real Estate Agent Podcast*, she cited Dick Dillingham’s advice to “Be KOOL…a Keen Observer Of Life.” Pay attention when people share their likes and dislikes. The second step is to write it down. Take note, literally. Simple systems make for magic moments.

Most of the best gift-givers don’t just remember this stuff. They have a system. Throughout the year, they make note of people’s preferences and gift ideas. Maybe they keep it in a note on their phone. Maybe they keep a Google doc. As business people, we add notes to contacts in our database.

One gift of a great database is that it can make you a better giver. Gifting isn’t about price tags. More important than the dollars paid is the thought invested.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: How can I show the people in my life I know them?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan

Co-author of The One Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent ​

* You can listen to her interview here on YouTube or on Apple Podcasts.